Do you ever feel alone? Not necessarily because there's no one around. But somehow in a space full of people, you can't help but feel lonely. Would it be cliche if I say sometimes I feel that way too?
How it all began!
For most of my life, I always wanted to have a ride-or-die kind of relationship, you know, that one friend that I could take on life with.
Now, don't get me wrong, throughout different stages of my life, I've had amazing friendships and relationships. But somehow, none of them morphed into my dream relationship. For so long, I battled with the idea that I just wasn't capable of having friendships that good.
In primary school, I did struggle with friendships, and for some reason, I remember being awkward with people. Because I was always so transparent, wearing my emotions across my sleeve, I never really knew the appropriate things to say to people.
Let's say I was a mess.
In high school, things got a bit better, and relating to people wasn't as bad as I thought it was, but I wasn't there yet. (I'm still not there.)
Enough with the history! What's this "loneliness" post about?
Over the past few years, I have gained and lost friends that I thought I was going to have for life. Honestly, even though I tried to brush it off as a part of life, it hurt deeply.
Sometimes I feel alone, reminiscing about how good those times were when I had those friends around. It hurts so much that it feels like a loss, knowing that you may never relive those thrilling and ecstatic moments.
Today, God gave me a few tips about how to process my pain. (And of course, since I'm so benevolent, I'm sharing them with you! You're welcome, lol)
6 ways to healthily process loneliness
1. Forgive yourself - It's not you, or maybe it is
Lol, this is not a breakup. I repeat this is not a breakup. The first step is to realize that there's nothing wrong with you. Yes, you might have made a few mistakes; or maybe you could have handled things a lot differently. It might not even have been your fault. But to make progress, you have to understand that your past doesn't determine your future, you do! You cannot control people's affections towards you, and it's definitely not your job to make people love you. So stop taking responsibility for other people's emotions. Let go and forgive yourself.
Now don't get me wrong, there are times when we do have character flaws that may create barriers or walls from the love we need. But holding it against yourself and others will only breed resentment, which will take you nowhere. Let go of everything you're holding against yourself or others.
2. Fall in love with you
It's quite unfair to expect others to like you when you can't love yourself. Think about it. You do not need anyone to validate you; your validation should come first from God. He's the only one who knows you truly anyway. So spend time with God and find peace and love in who you are in Him. God loves you so much, and until you understand what true love is, you won't be able to give or receive it.
3. Heal healthily
Now, you have to do the hard work. What traits do you have that are not profitable to you or your relationships? You have to be honest with yourself. If you want to change, you have to do things differently. So write them down and ask the Holy Spirit to help. (In case you don't know who He is, He is our helper. Once we receive Jesus as our Lord, the Holy Spirit comes to help us work out our faith in God).
Every day try to practice new habits that will help you break your old mindset. It could be as easy as smiling more frequently or greeting everyone at work, name it.
4. Realize that some relationships are seasonal
Not all relationships are intended to last a lifetime. In fact, some people come into your life for a reason; to teach you something about yourself and life. Some friends are in our lives for only a season, and after that their jobs are done. And few, a very few, stay with us for a lifetime!
So, remember to enjoy each moment. And once it's time for it to end, let it go, so that you can move to the next stage in life.
5. Serve others
Your purpose on earth is to help others. The more time we spend genuinely helping and empowering others, the less depressed and meaningless life seems. The beauty of it is that you build meaningful and beautiful relationships during the process of helping and serving. So ask God to show you how you can be of help every day and watch how things will shift in your life. Volunteer for a cause you believe in, donate if you don't have time, compliment people more often, the list is limitless. In your way, make the world more beautiful for someone else.
6. Have fun
In the end, all we have are memories, so create good ones. Enjoy every day as a gift, and be kind to those around you. In no time, you'll feel less lonely and more empowered.
I hope this helps......
